well i pulled a justin...

Well its 2 in the morning on saturday and I just finished picking up The Order of the Phoenix!!!!! Yes i am a Harry Potter nerd... but i'm seriously excited b/c I had no idea I was going to embark on this adventure tonight. I went to "girls night out" at Shelly's appartment(church girl who I just met which btw is an amazing cook!) well... i would say more and add details, b/c there were a lot, but i'm sleep deprived and have to be ready to go canoeing and swimming at 8 in the morning. Good night.

Well its 2 in the morning on saturday and I just finished picking up The Order of the Phoenix!!!!! Yes i am a Harry Potter nerd... but i'm seriously excited b/c I had no idea I was going to embark on this adventure tonight. I went to "girls night out" at Shelly's appartment(church girl who I just met which btw is an amazing cook!) well... i would say more and add details, b/c there were a lot, but i'm sleep deprived and have to be ready to go canoeing and swimming at 8 in the morning. Good night.

"My Immortal"

my immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

Will someone please leave a comment telling me when the Two Towers did or will come out on DVD? I forgot to ask my obessive friend (a.k.a Tim) today... how can i forget something like that?... Sorry Tim.. I hope our friendship doesn't suffer too harshly..

Yeah, I would now like to establish myself as a genius!!! Yeah, I changed the template..
yeah i figured it out on my own...
yeah, justin kinda had to help me... but hey i figured out the hard part!
yeah, i'm really not as smart as i'm showing myself off to be.
yeah, its 10 in the morning, i've had english class... leave me alone....

For the first time I'm making myself vulnerable... Its time to let go and stop hiding....
I realized something today
For a majority of my life i've pushed away friendship and relationships, placed a negative value, or carried a negative paradigm of them in my head. But In the long run, I pushed away the essential thing I want most in my life, love. I try to see the future and only see myself hurt, because everytime I have exposed my feelings; I'm always hurt. But now I see that God places that love on us everyday, never frightened of what happens; and I see myself hurting him far worse than I have ever been hurt. Yet he keeps coming back, unrelenting; and never seems startled or bothered that I drop him, lie to him, and disobey him every hour. Ok, back to what I'm stringing this to.... Don't ever feel afraid to love. Yes, you might be hurt, but you will be stronger and more careful with your choices in the end. You always benefit from your pain and love. I struggle with that thought everyday and it haunts my dreams, but in the end I trust and have faith that it is true. I love every single one of you, even if I've never met you ;o) I love you anyway, and there is no reason to ever not talk to me!

"Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven- for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."Luke 7:44-48

today has been really fun... despite the school aspect... but I actually have found some cool people and my FIG (freshman interest group) is so AMAZING! I love the people in it.. and it gives me a chance to be social and find people who might actually acknowledge that I exist. jk And I think I might actually pass Calculus now! My TA (despite the good looks) is actually clearing up a lot of controversial points in my Calculus class (grin :o)....) and i took the pleasure of showing you lovely people what Lauren and I placed on our beautiful microwave....STRONG BAD!!!!

umk... its time to see how well I can conquer my 5 page essay analyzing a less than 2 page editorial (lord... this is going to take a miracle)

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mood rings

we all know the girls that i am talking about
well they are time bombs and they are ticking
and the only question's when they'll blow up
and they'll blow up; we know that without a doubt
cause they're those girls, yeah you know those girls that let their
emotions get the best of them

and i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man

let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
cause we'll know just what they're thinking

she's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way
her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost everyday
she said to me that she's so happy its depressing (stressed out
that its soothing)
and all i said was someone get that girl mood ring

if its drama you want then look no further
they're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives
and it just kills me how they get away with murder
they'll anger you then bat their eyes; those pretty eyes that watch
you sympathize

cause when its black (it) means watch your back b/c you're probably
the last person in the world right now she wants to see
and when its blue it means that you should call her up immediately
and ask her out b/c she'll most likely agree
and when its green it simply means that she is really stressed
and when its clear its means she's completely emotionless (and that's alright i must confess)

we all know the girls that i am talking about
she liked you wednesday but now its friday and she has to wash her hair
and it just figures that we'll never figure them out
first she's jekyll and then she's hyde... at least she makes a lovely pair

mood ring oh mood ring
oh tell me will you bring
the key to unlock this mystery
of girls and their emotions
play it back in slow motion
so i may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind

i dedicate these lyrics to Joseph ( since he obviously thought they applied well to my case) and b/c i miss him! I also dedicate this to some very confused men, i will buy a mood ring eventually for all you who care....