Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Its not that I'm being left behind, I'm being left to start my own pathway... hopefully this time i can keep things they way they were meant to be, the way God wants them to be. Its time to grow up, move on, and figure out on my own, without the influences of others, what exactly God has in store for my life, and the only way I'll ever know that is by completely trusting him. I'm ready to set aside my childish goals, fears, and feelings, and focus on something greater than I could ever imagine. And as my focus seems clear, and I'm finally understanding clearly the emotions I'm feeling, the better I know which pathway is meant for me to follow. So its time.... I surrender all to the glory of it all

Monday, May 03, 2004

Ok, so gotta get this off my mind.... I stayed up half the night thinking about my grandparents, and how much I'm going to miss them when they are gone, which i know is pretty soon. And then i half wished I could be in Tyler to spend that time w/ them, but instead I'm here in college, separated from the people who for more than half my life were my best friends... Maybe its because they're the only people who would let me watch "The Sound of Music" three times in one day, or maybe because they were the only ones who let me eat peanut butter straight from the jar when i was little, or maybe they were the only one's who acted like my problems were the world to them... whatever it is.. I'll miss it.... well that's my thought for the day

So far... today has been pretty sucky. I didn't get any sleep last night, instead, i layed in bed thinking about a million things, and randomly got online to talk to people. The first time I've stayed up so late, and was actually not doing homework. By the time math came around, I felt really sick, and felt worse after I got my test back, which i failed. So i'm going to write the professor about my grade in that class, and see if she suggests me repeating it later, which is probably what will happen... goodbye fun history class w/ elizabeth :o(..... So i've been pretty bummed out about that, but my parents and friends reminded me that there's more important things in life than making the grade. And when i graduate and dont even remember my grades... i will laugh at the stupid things i stressed over :o) So in conclusion to this post.... things are just... ok... its bitter sweet, but in the end, everything is going to be worth it....
I love my friends :o)