Friday, January 23, 2004

I know its way beyond the time i should be or want to be in bed, but I just have to share me heart
I dont know what i'm trying to say, or the exact emotion .... i guess it would be more of a bitter sweet emotion Today has been an amazing day... i did no homework, i found out i made Century Singers (A-A-A-A-A!), and among many other things God answered many prayers but showed me a lot today. Its more what he showed me that has put me in the strange mood. I dont know exactly what it is, and i'm obviously having a hard time expressing it. There so much more out there than what i can conceive, I want to reach it and be able to have an effect on it, but it seems so impossible. Ok... to make it more clear....
I've been thinking a lot about substance abuse and other related things. Although I've had arguments, and have had things like "dont knock it until you try it" thrown at me, I'd like to say one thing. Just because I dont choose to participate in whatever you like to call "fun", I do know and feel the direct consequences of it. I've seen the way it can ruin lives and affect generation after generation.
God has kept this on my heart so strongly lately, and I dont know why, I know he wants me to do something w/ it. I keep hearing his voice and I dont know where its coming from or what he's trying to tell me to do.
I know to some of my friends this seems so out of place for me to talk about... but I sencerely believe there is an answer out there, and this is me asking for help in seeking that answer.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Some people are just jerks... no matter how long or how much you think you know them... they are
but i guess its time to practice humility and forgiveness, and figure out what God is calling me to do about some situations....
Sometimes you just have to hold on or let go.... its so confusing