Thursday, April 22, 2004

I know this was my first year... but Muster was absolutely AMAZING!!!!!! plus, I think the most awesome thing was I got to be apart of the ceremony... actually the best part was the seats... right in the middle of the whole ceremony... it was awesome :-).... And if i wasn't proud to be an Aggie all this year.. I am now! I think this school is so awesome!
Anyways.. no comments from my t-sip friends... regardless of the fact I was one of you... I'm in love w/ A&M and I know now definetly this is where I belong! Isn't that an awesome feeling! I love the word awesome!
I think i'm on crack or something......

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Yea.. so i'm tired, sorry if this is a little delirious...

So I've been acting like a girl this week... and by girl... i mean.. more girly than i normally do.... like shopping, i've noticed the valley girl talk coming out of my mouth ( and yet... i continue???? aka.. a lot of squeaking and complaining) Talking about boys... it seems like ALL the time.. oh goodness.... but there's a valid reason.. oh yes there is...

stressful situations? maybe... or maybe its just the random things life has thrown at me lately... and all i want to do is hide behind a shelter with no substance... middle school drama... i just want to go back to a time when all i had to worry about was if the guy sitting next to me wasn't totally repulsed by me... cuz i had the hugest crush on him... and then a week later.. he was the biggest jerk ever. That is what i would love... no worrying about love, relationships, sex, marriage, my job, pregnancy, lifetime commitment.... the rest of my life... Does it really have to come so quickly??? Why can't i just be a kid forever? i never want to worry about what my last name is or the name of my kids, or what kind of ring my engagement ring will be.... do i really care????? NO!!!! I think telling a group of friends in a Camaro on the ride back from Mozart's about a year ago... after listening to a conversation of girls planning out there future... my exact words? "I dont care if I even have a ring... just as long as I know I love him.. nothing else matters"

And big thought for the day.... That's the way I feel it needs to be w/ God... not to worry about the things God will place in your life.. as long as you know he loves you.... he will place what you need there. And I think coming to grips w/ that has been the hardest thing lately. I can't understand what's been going on in my life... all these relationships.. my personal relatioships... its justa all confusing, frustrating, emotional, and sometimes beautiful ... through trusting God, they will turn out the way they need to be. And i'm sure the person he has in store for me, i not have even met yet, but i know he will be perfect for God's planning, and that if I trust him, everything will be fine.

I know some of this sounds corny... and i know that some of it.. i'm even amazed at the thought i'm saying or thinking about it, cuz its not like i plan on getting married.. or even being in a relationship right now... but i say... stress.. its a funny thing

Steadly I realize how much more I'm not ready for a relationship for a long time... Stupid boys... break my heart :(

Time for major sleepage